DRUNK INTERVIEW: Above Them

This was never ever going to make it into the real issue. So I might aswell post it up here. This interview is very un-informative, but listening to it back was fucking hilarious. Maybe you had to be there.

When we saw North Lincoln in Retro Bar, Manchester we decided to interview someone, and as Above Them were sat next to us, we decided to try it with them. Drunk.

LISTEN HERE:

Moving North (Kieran): Hi Tom! I mean, what’s your name?

Tom: I’m Tom. Tom Rob! Tom Rob from Buv’vems

Moving North (James): Above Them, so, why?

Tom: *Oli puts masking tape over Tom’s mouth*

KK: OK then, how’s rehab going?

Tom: Not too bad, they’re letting me out next weekend to go to FEST which is nice of them, but then I’ll be back.

TOM HAWES: How hard is our sex gonna be at FEST?

Tom: Our Sex? As in with women or..?

TOM HAWES: The two of us, cock in bum.

Tom: Well we’ll be hard, but the women will be hard…to get.

TOM WHAWES: Yeah OK, that’s obvious.

KK: So who do you hate the most in Above Them?

Tom:Mark. I’m not gonna be nice about it, If I had to pick my worst band member it’d be Mark. He just stresses too much, he is a lovely guy though.

KK: Same to you Oli?

Oli: Mark.

Tom: If you ask mark he’ll say himself cause hes such a depressed basatard

KK: *shouts to Mark* Mark, if you had to kill someone in Above Them who would it be?

Mark: No-one?

K: That’s the right answer

Oli *sarcascm* meself coz I got no job

JH: Why are you guys a band, what you playing at?

Tom: We were in the street right!

Oli: *interrupts* Nah, it were five-a-side football.

Tom: *interrupts* Nah, I’ll answer serious.

Oli *interrupts* What you talking about, it were 5-a-side football, against Conifers.

Tom: Oli asked me if I wanted to start a band, we were in a band already but weren’t right good. We were gonna be different to what we are. We practiced a bit and decided didn’t wanna be like everyone else so we’d just do what we wanna do.

Oli: We started like Rise Against, but Tom was too lazy and I were too fat to play that fast.

Tom: Yeah we couldn’t keep up with ‘ardcore stuff, so we slowed it down a bit.

Oli: Is this an interview?

KK: Yes.

Tom: Where the fucks Mark? He’s packed all our merch away, someone might want to buy something

KK: I’m pretty sure no-one wants to buy anything.

JH: Why is Mark such a dick?

T: I like this Question. He’s not, he’s right good. I love him

Oli: He’s just something we’ve all got to live with

Tom: I like mark a lot, he does lots of organising, and you have to have a sensible one in the band casue it weren’t gonna be me. He does get stressed when people in the fast lane going 100mph break, cause theres a red light.

KK: So, FEST.

Tom: Yeah we are doing. James Hull ain’t though.

JH: Big laughs, family robinson bastard:

Tom: I think it’s gonna be good fun, lot of UK bands playing, R8 good ones.

around now Oli and Tom start talking about how TomRob speaks well gangster on tinterweb....

....and then good old James Hull asks a dude with a beard why their band is splitting up. The dude in the beard was Craig Not Shy and definately not someone from North Lincoln, nice one. James!

KK: Back to FEST talk!

Tom: Calvinball, looking forward to that, I reckon it’ll be boozy. Playing before Samiam, late on Saturday. I reckon it’s gonna go off. A bit of a downer is Small Brown Bike clashing with Iron Chic. But I did see Small Brown Bike at FEST 6. So..yeah here’s an exclusive, I’m off to see Iron Chic.

JH: How many million copies has the album sold?

Tom: Not quite as many as Arctic Monkeys, but we’re getting there.

Oli: I reckon 7 copies.

JH: Well I bought two, double clicked on iTunes.

Tom: Want £7 back?

Oli: Tom spends all we earn! Clothes, watches and crack.

KK: OK Let’s keep moving

JH: With the worst interview ever…

Tom: I’ve quite enjoyed it, it’s been edgy.

KK: Thanks Tom. So you hate anyone? Wanna diss anyone?

Tom: Yeah actually, I wanna diss The Arteries for not playing the Swansea Pre-Fest. I don’t care if you’re playing with Teenage Bottlerocket in USA.

KK: Oli, hate anyone?

Oli: I love everyone, I’m a generally nice guy.

Tom: You don’t get anywhere in this business being nice.

KK: What about Jon Doses?

Oli: Jon is lovely guy, never say a bad word about him!